The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume 1 Meeting and Mating edition by Evelyn Lafont Humor Entertainment eBooks
Download As PDF : The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume 1 Meeting and Mating edition by Evelyn Lafont Humor Entertainment eBooks 
Josie's an average girl who just wants one simple thing out of life--to have sex with a vampire. When she receives an invitation to a party thrown by one of the world's richest vamps, she doesn't stop to question her luck; she jumps into her favorite stilettos and heads out to the event of a lifetime, hoping that she'll come home with a sexy party favor.
But the great undead aren't just pointy toothed hotties waiting to satisfy Josie's carnal desires. With a single-minded focus on fulfilling her sole sexual longing, Josie unwittingly entrenches herself in the twisted world of vampire relationships with no one to guide her but herself.
EXCERPT OF THIS PARANORMAL COMEDY ROMANCE
By the time we got to Rocket Burger, I felt like I’d been ridden hard and put away wet. And if I’d just been having sex that would have been great, but considering that I felt this way after a ten minute drive with Walker, it didn’t bode well for the rest of the evening.
Walker, as a vampire, generally didn’t get hot. So when the air conditioning went out in his truck he saw no need to fix it. In order to keep me from suffocating or sweating literally to death on the ride to Rocket Burger, we had to drive with the windows rolled down. Naturally this didn’t really cool me off so much as whip my hair into a crazy frenzy, get sand and road dust stuck to my face, and evenly spread my sweat all over my body. In short, I was disgusting.
We got out of the car and Walker asked me something but I couldn’t hear him over the roar of hundreds of motorcycles all revving their engines for bike night. Since I also can’t read lips I simply looked at Walker stupidly, unsure how to even react to the sounds he was obviously trying to make.
“You have a hair,” he shouted, “going up your nose!”
Of course I did. I ran my fingers through my hair and tried to make it look sexily tousled but I’m sure I didn’t achieve the look. “Can we get a table?” I shouted back to him.
He smiled and grabbed my hand and then pulled me toward the building. Rocket Burger is made up of two different sections--the original restaurant which is closed-in and air-conditioned and the ramshackle shack portion of the restaurant which has a lovely and quaint dirt floor, picnic tables, and random two-by-fours with plywood crookedly affixed to them as “walls.” How it has survived hurricane season in Florida for over fifty years is anybody’s guess.
Walker led me to the unair-conditioned ramshackle portion of the restaurant and we sat down at an empty picnic table. Since my white shorts were already looking less than clean, I didn’t bother to wipe off the seat. To hell with it, I thought. It’s not like we’re ever going on another date.
The waitress came to our table and asked what we wanted to drink. We both ordered beer and I went ahead and put in my hamburger order too. Walker, apparently, wasn’t hungry because he didn’t ask for anything in the way of food. Maybe I wasn’t the only one that wanted to get this over with quickly.
I was surprised when Walker’s hand reached across the table and rested on top of mine. One of my eyebrows went up and I looked at him. “Really? Is that how you feel this date is going? It’s going well enough to touch each other?”
He laughed. “I’m a man, Josie. We could be swinging bats at each other’s heads and I’d still want to touch you.
***
Book Blogger Reviews
"The snarky wit and humor Evelyn Lafont uses will leave you gasping for more." -Stephanie Gutenberger, www.bookloveblog.com
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"I wasn't sure what to expect from this book but whatever it was it sure went way beyond it. It was awesome. I loved it.Josie was smart, funny and totally sarcastic kinda girl that I love."-Amber, www.awesomesaucebookclub.com
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"I read half of this little novella last night in the bath. I thought I was going to have to sue Evelyn for the cost of a new kindle, the amount of times I nearly dropped it in the water from laughing so har
The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume 1 Meeting and Mating edition by Evelyn Lafont Humor Entertainment eBooks
This book is hysterical. With all the horrible vampires out there like the sparkling creatures not worthy of the name, the vampires here are able to maintain some vampire-ness. The story is both able to exist in the vampire genre and parody it (and parody it well). It has the set up of two supernatural men vying for the one human woman. There's the "safer" choice and the "bad boy" choice. Yet, the dynamics play off what is expected for the genre. Josie, the main character, is not the traditional woman in the middle, either; she is snarky and driven. She knew what she wanted and went for it. Instead of delicate flowers that let the men control everything, Josie takes charge. She is unabashed when asking questions that border naïve and insensitive because in the vein of (pun intended) True Blood/Sookie Stackhouse series vampires are a recognized minority in this series. Josie, however, knows little of them beyond being attractive and desirable for a night in the sheets. Finally, when she has her dream encounter; there's more to it then she could know. The book's flow and style are wonderful. The way it is written there is faux excerpts from various supposed sources and dear Abby-esque advice which adds to the humor and give look into the world in which the story is set. The pacing is so fast (but so incredible) you find yourself at the end before you know it. Great book, I recommend it to anyone who wants a good, quick, read.Product details
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The Vampire Relationship Guide Volume 1 Meeting and Mating edition by Evelyn Lafont Humor Entertainment eBooks Reviews
I picked up the first volume free on and was definitely compelled to make the purchase of all three. The development of the characters and their relationships (and the way/time information is revealed about them) is very effective, and there are parts that made me chuckle out loud. I'd love to know more about the world this is written in and the situations surrounding the supernatural culture and the tensions therein. A little more expansion in that regard definitely wouldn't be amiss, but overall, this is a very fun read.
This book is wonderfully funny, sexy, and I just couldn't put it down! I am hoping to read them all, but I have to stop laughing first, and that's gonna be a while............
She's a great writer, with an intelligent style and a wonderful sense of her characters. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED IT!!!!!!
I honestly didn't expect to like this and I think it's because I downloaded it when it was free. Sadly most books that vampire related and free at some point usually end up on the low end of the scale. I'm happy to say this went the other way.
The main character, Josie, is a little goofy and at times I wanted her to stop saying such stupid things but most of the time she didn't bother me. Walker kind of annoyed me with his mood shifts but I suppose given his reasoning it makes sense.
I like how it's not just focused on the relationships like the name suggests it will be but there is some actual depth to the characters. There was a great mix of humor involved and some rather witty comments that had me laughing. The writing style is fairly easy going and has a kind of informal relaxed feel, if that makes any sense. (Think Sookie Stackhouse type informality). It is a pretty short and fast paced read but it didn't feel over worked or rushed, and I'm actually pretty curious about the second one.
Josie works at the bridal shop and her lifelong dream is to date a vampire. What a coincidence, her mailman has an invitation to a vampire party and he gives it to her. How nice of him, right? At the party she meets Gregory, a handsome, tall billionaire. After the party she meets handsome, obnoxious smoker. They both want to date her. Which one will she choose. Which one will turn out to be a psycho killer?
The book is actually not that bad as I tought it would be. It has its funny moments. I don't regret downloading it, but I'm not interested in second and third part.
Josie, the protagonist, is little bit naive, and let's face it, gullible. In a world where vampires are part of society not knowing bacic things about them seems just stupid to me. Also using swear words was a little out of place for me. I mean, I don't mind them at all in books or in the movies, but in this particular situation it just seemed like the author took some swear words and threw them into the text at random.
In a nutshell, you can check the book out, have some nice time with it, but if you don't your world won't fall down in pieces.
This book is hysterical. With all the horrible vampires out there like the sparkling creatures not worthy of the name, the vampires here are able to maintain some vampire-ness. The story is both able to exist in the vampire genre and parody it (and parody it well). It has the set up of two supernatural men vying for the one human woman. There's the "safer" choice and the "bad boy" choice. Yet, the dynamics play off what is expected for the genre. Josie, the main character, is not the traditional woman in the middle, either; she is snarky and driven. She knew what she wanted and went for it. Instead of delicate flowers that let the men control everything, Josie takes charge. She is unabashed when asking questions that border naïve and insensitive because in the vein of (pun intended) True Blood/Sookie Stackhouse series vampires are a recognized minority in this series. Josie, however, knows little of them beyond being attractive and desirable for a night in the sheets. Finally, when she has her dream encounter; there's more to it then she could know. The book's flow and style are wonderful. The way it is written there is faux excerpts from various supposed sources and dear Abby-esque advice which adds to the humor and give look into the world in which the story is set. The pacing is so fast (but so incredible) you find yourself at the end before you know it. Great book, I recommend it to anyone who wants a good, quick, read.
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